The Family Way (From Halesowen News)

The Family Way

7:00am Saturday 26th July 2008

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LISA Salmon looks at the weird, wonderful and sometimes weary world of parenting.

NEWS FOR PARENTS

Spending too much time on computers rather than working with their hands is threatening children's neurological and intellectual development, a report has found.

It suggests that Britain is suffering from the effects of a "software instead of screwdriver" society and that children aren't spending enough time on hands-on learning, which teaches important life skills like an understanding of materials and how the world works in practice.

Perhaps the answer is to get them to use screwdrivers to dismantle their computers.

The joy of being a parent fades after the child reaches the age of two, researchers have found.

Dr Yannis Georgellis, a senior lecturer at Brunel University, said the stress of parenthood means that the positive effect of having children may be transitory.

"The first year with a baby is very nice but then you have the terrible twos," he said.

"When you ask parents how they feel about their life, they can feel miserable."

But he added: "If you asked them in another 20 years time they may be very happy and glad that they had children."

In more good news, a separate report from The Children's Mutual found that women with children make eight more lifetime friends as a direct result of becoming a parent. Perhaps it's a result of all that bonding over how hard it is having kids!

Young children can be little horrors - but they are basically born good, according to new research which claims that children between the ages of 7 and 12 have a natural inclination to care.

Scientists came to the conclusion after scanning the brains of 17 children shown animations of people suffering pain.

Some parents might argue that agreeing with their conclusion depends on how you define “good” and “care”.

Campaigners have slammed education chiefs who banned school sack and three-legged races because of health and safety fears.

Children from John F Kennedy Primary in Washington, Tyne and Wear, were due to compete in the events at an Edwardian-themed sports day but the races were dropped amid fears a child would fall over and be hurt.

But isn't falling over simply part of what children do? Why not just let kids be kids?

ASK THE EXPERT

Q: "My baby is very fussy and demanding. Does that mean I'm likely to have problems with him throughout his childhood - and if so, is there anything I can do about it?"

A: Benjamin Lahey, a Professor of Epidemiology and Psychiatry at the University of Chicago, led a study into whether an infant's temperament and his mother's parenting skills during the first year of life might predict behavioural problems. He says: "Although infants who are perceived by their mothers as fussy, unpredictable, active and fearful are more likely to be children who are perceived by their mothers as having serious conduct problems later in childhood, many infants with difficult temperaments don't develop serious conduct problems.

"Overall, only a small proportion of children develop serious conduct problems, so even among children with high-risk, challenging temperaments, most don't go on to serious conduct problems.

"Our study doesn't allow definitive conclusions regarding what parents can do to reduce the chances of having a problem child. Nonetheless, our results and other studies suggest that cognitive stimulation (e.g. speaking and reading to the infant and taking the infant to interesting places), not spanking the infant and being sensitive and responsive to the infant's needs might help.

"The most important implication of the study, however, is that mothers who are concerned about their infant's difficult temperament should consult a mental health expert who can provide advice that's tailored to each infant's needs."

WEBSITE OF THE WEEK: forparentsbyparents.com

The site has separate information areas for mums by mums, and for dads by dads, including personal diaries. There's advice on pregnancy, baby and child issues such as weaning and development, a discussion area, polls and parenting news. The idea is to share the experiences of other parents and provide links to specialist sites, as well as give ideas about entertaining the kids.

THREE WAYS TO... make the best of a holiday with your teenager.

1. Include your teen in the planning - ask them what they'd like to do.

2. Agree to put all major family conflict aside for the duration of the holiday - and if separate conflicts arise while you're away, make a real effort to talk it out and don't place blame.

3. Make sure you spend time alone with your teenager on the holiday, even if it's just a conversation in the car.

WHEN IS MY CHILD READY... to stop having a dummy?

Some experts recommend that dummy use is restricted from the age of about six months, so the child has been totally weaned off it by the age of one.

However, many parents think it's easier to take their child's dummy away when the child can understand why it's happening.

Past the age of two, it's thought that dummies can begin to disrupt the alignment of secondary teeth and there is some suggestion that they can also inhibit speech development in toddlers.

READER TIP

If a young child doesn't want to go somewhere with you, like a walk or a family outing, give them a cheap disposable camera so they can take pictures of wherever it is you're going, and make a scrapbook of the day.

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