Why we love to moan about men (From Halesowen News)

Why we love to moan about men

7:00am Saturday 18th October 2008

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What is it about men that drives women to distraction? Is it the way they hog the remote, leave the toilet seat up or the fact that they never empty the dishwasher? We talk to Juliana Foster about her new book, Moan About Men, and her funny foray into the full repertoire of men's intensely irritating habits.

By Sam Wylie-Harris

Men! Love them or hate them, we can't live without them.

Thoughtless, lazy and selfish one minute... kind, amusing and loving the next! They cause us no end of heartache and frustrate us to the max.

No wonder women like to get together and have a whinge over a glass or two of wine.

But what is it about men that drives us to distraction?

Is it the way they hog the remote, leave the toilet seat up or the fact that they never empty the dishwasher? Or is it the way they dump their smelly socks on the floor, forget to feed the cat and snore all night?

The list seems to be endless. So much so, two savvy women have channelled the collective frustration into a hugely popular website. Sue Hedges and Angie Savchenko founded www.moanaboutmen.co.uk so girls can go online and have a good old rant about their fella.

In fact, its been such a success you can now read a tongue-in-cheek account of what really makes us crazy.

Author Juliana Foster was so inspired by the website that she's written a new book, Moan About Men, a funny foray into the full repertoire of men's intensely irritating habits.

"We got together and picked out the topics that came up time and time again on the website," she explains.

"It was always the same old subjects. We just had to write a book about it!"

Foster is in her early thirties and has been married for four years. So what does her man do that drives her mad?

"My husband's actually quite good," she laughs.

"He doesn't give me too much to moan about. My main complaint is that he's not the most tidy person around the house."

In the popular 90s sitcom Men Behaving Badly, Dorothy and Deborah were the long-suffering other halves. And just like in the TV show, what really seems to hit a nerve are our blokes' nasty personal habits.

"Particularly their toilet habits," says Foster.

"Not putting the loo seat down is one that comes up all the time. Nose picking, passing wind, nail biting, that sort of thing.

"Oh and housework. Women always complain that men don't do their fair share. Too much lazing about and lack of cooking skills, that comes up a lot too."

It seems there two types of men in the kitchen. There are the ones who are influenced by chefs like Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay, and then you've got those who don't go into the kitchen at all.

"Quite frankly," says Foster, "I don't think either of them are particularly good. I tend to find that the guy who does like to do the cooking will only do so when there's a big occasion - when they can show off, like at a dinner party. Men like an audience. But on a day-to-day basis, it's still the ladies who are coming home and making supper."

But it's not just the couch potatoes and men who can barely boil an egg who cause us grief. Gadget and gizmo geeks can also make us mad.

"Gadgets are a hot topic on the website," says Foster.

"Men have to have a gadget for everything. And before you know it, the whole house is controlled by remote control. They buy all this useless junk, and then it just sits there in a corner gathering dust!"

And when we teasingly refer to the Men Commandments, man flu tops the list. For some unknown reason, their sick bug is always worse and more beastly than ours.

"Man flu syndrome is a uniquely male affliction," Foster sighs.

"When women catch a cold and are feeling pretty grotty, they usually manage to get into work, or run the usual household errands.

"But when your man catches the same cold that you've had, he acts like he's so ill he's going to have to be hospitalised at any minute."

With so many things to irritate us, it's amazing we even give them the time of day. Especially if our favourite rant seems to be 'Why can't a man be more like a woman!'.

"Fundamentally, it's not that these things annoy us so much that we can't live with them," explains Foster.

"I think the basic fact is that women actually quite like a moan.

"If you're down the pub enjoying a few glasses of wine, at some point of the evening the conversation is going to turn towards your boyfriend or husband - what they've done recently to annoy you.

"It's not that we're sitting there all smug, moaning and complaining. It's more like female companionship, a kind of ritual. At the end of the day, us women do like a whinge!"

Foster admits that this is probably why the website has been so successful. One of the great things about the message board is that it's more or less anonymous. It's a great place to go and dump your feelings.

"It's not like these women say, 'Oh, I can't stand my husband, I wish I could leave him'. There are some posts like that, but the majority of women are just there for a bit of fun," she says.

"If you look at some of the messages they're not desperate. They're sharing and laughing tit-bits and it makes them feel better 'cause they know they're not alone. It's a kind of connection.

"It's not, 'Oh aren't men awful, how can we live with them', it's more of a female bonding. And let's face it, life would be very dull if we were all the same."

With Christmas shopping looming, does Foster have any advice for women before they invite their menfolk to tag along?

"My advice would be to leave him at home," she laughs.

"They just don't have the same type of pleasure from shopping as women do.

"But if you really must, make sure it's somewhere he wants to go, and make it the end of the shopping trip!"

:: Moan About Men by Juliana Foster is published by Headline, priced £9.99. Available now.

:: Check out the website that inspired the book at www.moanaboutmen.co.uk

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