I once asked David O’Leary why his record was so poor in local derbies and when did he think he would get one over on Steve Bruce.

In his arrogant way he said: “My record in derbies is good, my lads beat Wolves 4-0 - away.”

I laughed so hard I got thrown out of the press conference.

Wolves isn’t a derby which anyone cares about. Everyone knows that.

Maybe in the old days when we used to play each other every Boxing Day it might have meant something but not now.

Well we are on the eve of the Worst West Midlands Derby for Villa fans.

At the end of an awful week for West Midlands football. First there was the rubbish served up on ITV between Wolves and Blues and tomorrow there will be a stadium full of miserable moaning fans.

Large sections of both sets of fans can’t stand their manager and this could be the first time in history where the whole ground is shouting: ‘You Dont Know What Your Doing’ to both managers.

I cant really get worked up for Wolves games.

Blues will always be the biggest derby for me.

Growing up in Birmingham you couldn’t escape the animosity, it was there at school, it was there up town in the pubs and clubs and occasionally it was there in a lonely dark alley when you were running for your life.

But thankfully as I get older it seems to be just on Facebook but I miss them in the Premiership, we are stuck in the boring hinterland of midtable, the equivalent of having a pint a motorway service station, and if we played the Blues at least two games would mean something a season. Then comes the rivalry with Albion because they are just up the road but if we are honest it’s the same kind of rivalry you have with your sister playing football as a kid, it doesn’t really matter.

Then I’d venture Coventry because of how much they hate us and how often we used to play them.

But it is Wolves tomorrow and I'll watch it somewhere or another but it is hardly going to be a classic is it? I might put a bet on duck eggs all round. If you could get odds on it being a stinker it would be odds on that's for sure. I can’t even be bothered to read what McLeish is saying anymore, everytime I catch something inadvertently it seems to annoy me. I didn’t even bother trying to understand why he dropped the Zog against Everton just as he seemed to have turned the corner. Why is he slagging off Makoun for? We are still playing his wages. I’m not pretending the African would be a revelation but there is no need to be rude, and it is not like our midfield is sparkling without him.

You don’t get to play for Lyon if your a mug but then again McLeish is probably right, Makoun wouldn’t get a look in on the pitch with Collins, Warcrock, Dunne and Hutton hoofing the ball over his head looking for the killer pass to that 10 foot striker we dont have.

But don’t worry we’ve got Robbie Keane, our ace in the hole, a player a year older than when he couldnt hit a barn door at West Ham.

But fair play to McLeish he wants to bring him into the first team gently after his stint in Disneyland, the only problem with that he’s eligible for less games than a pissed up bloke whose wandered into a Wacky Warehouse.

The whole thing stinks, its like a depressed mom telling her kids look at a glittery shiny thing so they dont see her crying in the other room.

And some fans are falling for it - shouting ‘Keano Keano Keano’ like we’ve got Pele on the bench and undermining the players who are actually ours on the pitch.

We cant seem to fit Gabby and Bent in the same team so what is the point of bringing Keane in to delay the chances of finding our best team and formation.

But then again if Irishman wins us the game against Arsenal next Sunday he will be alright by me.

I’m more interested in the FA Cup than the league, which is proving depressingly boring, because we have a chance, if the balls fall right, of actually winning the damn thing, unlike the Race for Seventh which Newcastle seemed to have run away with.

It should be a great down in Ol Landan Tann next Sunday with so many Villa fans making the journey, and hopefully McLeish will not make Houllier’s mistake by thinking the game isn’t important to the good of our club. A competition the Villa are pulling up trees in is the NextGen series and I’ve got my ticket to see our young lads play Marseilles in the quarter finals.

Our academy is still the best thing about our club and it’ll be good to see these kids in a Villa shirt without the burden of expectancy that seems to scare the life out of our older players.

Oh to be young and innocent Villa fan again!

Up the Villa

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